Big girl panties

I’m at the gym right now fighting ugly tears. I have no idea why, nothing’s wrong…but everything’s wrong.

My shoes are falling apart.
My shirt is stained.
My underwear are hanging off of me and getting in the way when I try to move.
(Which technically is a WIN because of my weight loss so far.)
Everything is rubbing and chafing and hurting.
And the warmer my body gets the more I am becoming aware that I smell like the breakfast I made for my kids this morning before I left…and not in a good way.

I am not a pretty sight.

Sometimes it’s hard to muster up the gumption to walk in here just being as big as I am…let alone not having fresh and cute gym clothes and the confidence of a woman who has her life together. Sometimes this whole thing just sucks.

Feeling overwhelmed.

Feeling SORRY FOR MYSELF.

lol

I just literally had to stop and sit down and write or I felt like I was going to fall apart and off of the treadmill, becoming the next viral video you’d see on Facebook tonight.

The truth is I’m probably just hormonal and human. Sometimes we have “off” days. Sometimes things aren’t pretty. I’m learning that it’s EXACTLY in these moments, the moments of doubt and despair, when it matters most to choose your attitude. Moments like these, to cast my cares upon the shoulders of a loving Creator who is big enough to carry them. Moments like these when I will get off my butt and finish my workout, even if I’m not feeling it.

Boomshakalaka.