About-face

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I’ve decided I’m done sulking about having not become the latest weight-loss sensation in the west.
I grew into some high hopes a few months ago that this time my efforts with being real and blogging about my situation would be rewarded with numbers dropping off the scale with ease. This attitude is EXACTLY the one I was supposed to avoid because it always takes my struggle out of Gods hands and into my own. Well, as we can see…that never ends up the way I hope it will. I was supposed to be focusing on how to love myself “as is” and once again I got caught up in the net of an extremist. Starting to listen to that old tape of “once you lose this weight…THEN you’ll have REAL stuff to say and write about. THEN you will be really useful and helpful to people. THEN you will be comfortable and love yourself.” So I set out on extreme diets and tried to take charge only to find myself failing and hating myself for the past few weeks. Letting the cycle start to sneak in and beat me up a bit. Well, not today my good man! Today we are changing course.

I am reminded once again this morning that I have no guarantee of THEN. I only have NOW.

So right NOW, whether I feel like it or not I will thank God for the body I have that is going to get me through the day. Right NOW I’m going to rejoice that I have been useful and helpful to people. Right NOW I’m going to celebrate where I’m at. Right NOW I get to make the choice to turn my bad attitude around and get to walking in the right direction again. Towards the me I’m truly supposed to be.

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Inspired

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“Sometimes themes are repeated in our lives as they are in music. But at the time we hear them, we aren’t always attune to their significance. It may take perspective, time, and distance to appreciate a recurring motif.”
-Kathy Coffey “Hidden Women of the Gospels”

I am reading this book right now (amongst a zillion others it feels like). This quote lifted up off the page and forced my attention. It’s begs the question “What are the themes in your life? What messages have you heard repeated?”
The connection woven between our lessons in life and the significance of certain music is real! We are moved by music. We use it to mark the seasons and stations of our lives. It evokes joy, pain, and a myriad of other emotions. Each song becoming more valuable over time and distance.

I was inspired by this and wrote this quick poem. I think the themes in my life are pretty obvious. I have a tag cloud over here…What are the themes in yours?

Themes echoing through my life.
Like music I set to rewind.
Trying to identify these songs that haunt me.
Lessons repeated and left unlearned.
Minor chords.
Bridges burned.
Shuffle themselves in my ears,
Trying to be heard.
My head.
My life.
My heart.
A tone.
A note that strikes.
Pierces.
Soothes.
Played perfectly.
Skillfully.
Translating my positions…always on the pulse of my current event.
Comforting like a blanket.
Hidden and warm.
Reverberate from another day.
Another time.
Another place.
Rythym rolling across my history.
Soundtrack layered blissfully.
The marriage of music and memories.
Now I’m sure I’m listening.

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