What, me worry?

I live in the present and enjoy every moment in the life God has given me.

At least this is what I tell myself in the morning. Enjoying each moment…finding joy in each moment…this the goal and art of life. I’m trying to learn it and practice it like a habit. Choosing to set my mind on the positive even when worry is crouching at my door ready to pounce.

I think this is why I’m obsessed slightly with Disneyland. It’s all about wonder and magic and capturing moments. We have been to a few other “establishments” and nothing even comes close to comparing to Disney because they spend so much time on the details. The ambiance that is created is what makes everything so special. Each flower, each cobweb, carefully placed on purpose. I read an article about Disney imagineers that said they skim each surface over and over to make sure that every place a guests eye may rest they will have something to look at. The details are endless.

I’m learning the same is true in life. God has created each of us with care and detail. Our surroundings are filled with wonder and beauty. Despite what the conditions are in our lives, I think if we skim through and really LOOK, we can still find moments of magic. Gods fingerprints in the details of our lives.

The sweet breath of my daughter snuggled up in my arms to tell me good morning. The freckles peppered upon my sons nose that crinkles when he laughs. The dependable way my husband will always answer when I call, even when he is busy.
Blessings everywhere. They aren’t guaranteed to be there tomorrow. Who knows what awaits us then. Tomorrow will have trouble enough of its own…
So for today, I will just breathe it all in and say, “thank you.”


How Jesus, Disney, and Nicki Minaj keep me motivated

Day 5 of my in home boot camp/rehab. I must report that I am doing surprisingly well! Many thanks to all of this who are praying and encouraging me along this journey ( I really hate the over use of that word!) I am still in the cleansing phase, and am enjoying feeling better inside and out. In the back of my mind I worry because I’m always a great “starter”, but this time I’ve made up my mind to finish. Part of why I’ve made it public, for the accountability.

I am motivated by many things in my life. Some are great, (boringly obvious though right? No offense anybody! Just keepin it REAL. It is Realology after all.) My children, my familia, my faith, the bible, good friends, great books, fresh poetry. All of these I have blogged about before.

Other motivators may be slightly inappropriate and selfish but…?


My OBSESSION with Nicki Minaj. Seriously. If the song “Pound the Alarm” doesn’t light a fire under you ass, there just isn’t hope for you. She is brutally honest in her “spoken word” (rapping) and all about women being empowered and champions. Overcoming and rising above. There are some songs about, ehh hemm, other stuff too…but I skip those. (Wink-wink) With her in my headphones, I’m murdering that treadmill, ya feel me?

Another motivator is Disneyland. Ok ok ok. Some of you who know me in real life are like, ” Ugh, here we go…the Disneyland obsession. Good Lord.” But it helps!!!

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” -Walt Disney

If I can just imagine that instead of walking around my block, I’m walking down Main Street…it makes it a little more fun. I walk around Disneyland ALL DAY and am never bothered by it. So when I walk ( and hopefully soon, run) I imagine that I’m preparing for the next trip. My ultimate Disney dream would be to run in a marathon and earn one of those awesome Disney marathon medals. Someday I will, watch me suckers!

In all honesty, the biggest motivator of all is my husband. He is gonna kill me for making this blog post all about him, but I have to gush. He never ever ever gives up on me. He never looks at me or treats me any differently based on my size or how I look. I feel nothing but acceptance for who I am as a person and his wife. To honor him and how much I love him and am grateful for him I will post a poem in his honor. Gotta find fresh motivation everyday, right? Have a wonderful weekend!

He doesn’t know I’m watching.

So many years together now,
you’d think I’d grow tired.
His arms that are muscled with years of working,
His hands, strong and skilled.
Fixing our messes. Repairing our breaks.
His back, broad and wide.
Spreading out into shoulders like wings to hide in,
and I do.
When I bury my face into his neck, he tucks me in.
Breathe in love.
I was made to fit in there.
No matter my size, he makes sure I do.

He doesn’t know I’m watching.

Playing with our children.
Laughing, running, playing.
Hiding and tickling.
Someday these will just be our memories.
Affection free and abundant.
They’re so lucky, I think constantly.
They have no doubt of their importance to him,
He leaves no room for that.

He doesn’t know I’m watching.

As he sleeps and I lie awake.
I listen to him breathe,
My hand on his chest,
thumping heart beat.
I’m so lucky, I think constantly.
No room for doubt.
Just gratitude.

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