Fat chick attempting a 5K



A few days ago I walked my first 5k.

I repeat, a few days ago I walked a 5k.

Me.
Still over 300 lbs, me. 
Still in pain from nerve damage in my feet, me.
Still fat, plus sized and jiggly me.
Still scared that I might get made fun of or fail, me. 
Still huffs and puffs even though I’m killing workouts 6 days a week, me.
I, signed up for…and actually finished a 5k.  It took me just over 1 hour.  H
I still almost don’t believe it.
Last July on my birthday, if you would have told the almost 50 pounds heavier and 100% more miserable me…that within 6 months my life would be different and I would have accomplished my first 5k, I would have laughed in your face! 
My first day in the gym back in August was an alarming eye opener as to how really out of shape I was!   I barely did 15 minutes on the treadmill at a speed of 2.0 and went strait to the bathroom and burst into tears.  I called my husband at work, crying and humiliated.  Overwhelmed at the long and grueling road I had ahead of me.  Unsure if I was really going to be able to do this everyday.  
The pain was sharp and unrelenting.  My feet were swollen.  My body was heavy and not used to being pushed beyond what I was able to do everyday to run my household.  It was like staring up at the Empire State Building and knowing I had to get to the top by climbing the stairs.   Who wouldn’t want to turn around and bolt?! 
Everyday after I had to MAKE myself drive over to that gym and climb on the treadmill.  
Even though it hurt.  
Even though I hated it.  
Even though I felt stupid. 
 I told myself that if my husband had to make himself get up and go to work everyday, I had to get up and make myself come here, THIS would be job right now.  Since I couldn’t  yet do it for myself, I did it for him.  
Knowing it was a sacrifice for our family to rely on his income only so that I could dedicate myself to getting healthy, I made myself go.  I did not want to waste the gift he had given me in believing in me.  
So, I made myself walk.  
I made myself do an extra minute here and there until eventually I was able to stay on for 30 min. 
 I made myself do it everyday. 
Then I made myself do what the trainer asked me to do.  I totally submitted myself to her authority and would not allow myself to not at least try and do the things she told me to.  
Even when it hurt.  
Even if I felt like a wiener. 
Even when I’d catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror to see that my belly was showing doing the ball slams, and I wanted to die from disgust and shame.   I’d pull down my shirt and make myself keep going, even though all I wanted to do was grab my keys and speed away in my truck, and never look back. 
Those first two months were brutal. 
Sometimes it’s still brutal. 
Sometimes I still catch glimpses of myself and am bummed that more progress and hard work isn’t visible.  
And sometimes I complete 5k’s and feel like I own the world.
Sometimes I amaze myself by the workouts that I’m able to do know.
The endurance I’ve built.
The weight I can lift.
The distances I can go.
Sometimes I’m amazed at how bad I want to be in the gym everyday day now! 
How excited I am to push myself.  
How amazing it feels to make my family proud.
How amazing it feels to make myself proud. 
I’ve always wanted to do a 5k and I never did. 
 I was afraid.  
Well now I can say I’ve DONE one.  
One goal reached and many more to come.  Im not where I want to be yet but I’m well on my way, because I’m not afraid anymore.  And as cliche as it sounds…if I can do this, quite LITERALLY anyone can do this.  

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23 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Diana Quartey
    Mar 19, 2015 @ 14:38:21

    Congratulations on completing the 5K!

    Reply

  2. Brooke
    Mar 19, 2015 @ 15:02:29

    You are amazing! You’re strength and perseverance are what inspire me and so many others. Great job!

    Reply

  3. monica wilkinson
    Mar 20, 2015 @ 07:16:31

    Your an inspiration and that gym and trainers ROCK!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

    Reply

    • mandimon
      Mar 20, 2015 @ 07:29:29

      Thank you Monica! The Anytime Fitness that I joined in August has truly become a second home to me. The owners/trainers have been the most welcoming and encouraging group of people, I have been amazed.

      Reply

  4. Erin
    Mar 20, 2015 @ 07:56:00

    I work at an Anytime Fitness in WV and came on your blog through FB and this post almost brought me to tears! You are the reason we do what we do at not just your Anytime, but all the Anytimes all over the world! You are kickin’ so much butt girl and we’re proud of you!

    Reply

  5. Tai Rae
    Mar 20, 2015 @ 08:13:38

    This. All of this. Thank you for sharing your experience with the world and putting yourself out there. Once upon a time I was 120 pounds heavier and I remember every single emotion you’re feeling. This entry brought tears to my eyes because I know how hard it is to keep going. But keep going. It’s so worth it and one day you’ll look back at pictures and you won’t even fathom every being this way. You’ll see how strong you’ve become and know you’ll never go back. You’re an inspiration, and you’ve got a new fan and cheerleader!

    Reply

    • mandimon
      Mar 20, 2015 @ 08:17:05

      Thank you!!! I am honored that people take the time to read and respond. I will take all the cheerleaders I can get! Especially those who know where I’m coming from. Thanks so much

      Reply

  6. Amanda
    Mar 20, 2015 @ 09:23:50

    YOU GO GIRL!!!!…congratulations on completing your first 5K…you are truly and inspiration.. Keep it up!!! 👍😃💪

    Reply

  7. naturerestoresme
    Mar 20, 2015 @ 09:25:33

    you’re awesome! So proud of you.

    Reply

  8. deborahcrocker
    Mar 20, 2015 @ 11:54:00

    Reply

  9. Molly Stewart
    Mar 20, 2015 @ 15:04:39

    Beautiful, my friend! Life is only truly lived when you show up to the stuff you don’t want to show up to! Keep showing up.

    Reply

  10. Dawn
    Mar 20, 2015 @ 21:55:17

    You are inspiring! I need to get myself out of a rut and back on the wagon! I’m back to the healthy eating, but need to get back the North Valley’s Anytime Fitness it’s been too long!!

    Reply

    • mandimon
      Mar 20, 2015 @ 22:34:51

      Dawn!! Yes!! That’s the one I go to!!! I’d be happy to see you there 🙂 thank you for the encouragement and taking the time to read this. I have a long way to go still, but it feels great being on the wagon!! 💗

      Reply

  11. freespirithaven
    Mar 21, 2015 @ 10:05:14

    YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I’m so proud of you..please share this at The Sacrificial Diet…could you please?????((hugs)))

    Reply

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💥LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!💥While I'm not hitting this 100 percent of the time, this is what I'm striving for.  STAYING in my lane and doing what I'm supposed to do. Pressing ahead. 🙏🏼🔥💜Thank you @_highoff_e for always having that IG game on point and giving me life!!! 🙌🏼 #stayingthecourse #stayinginmylane #hatersgonnahate #naysayers #otherpeoplesopinionsarenoneofmybusiness #dodgingnegativitylikebullets #bdontkillmyvibe #goodvibesonly

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