Birthday Reflections

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Today is my dads birthday and tomorrow is mine. Since my birth I have celebrated my birthday together with him an also celebrated age and independence with all of America. I loved being called a firecracker baby when I was younger. I used to feel like all the fireworks were for me. I feel that I have been blessed with the perfectly balanced birthday distance from Christmas. Which almost made up for a summer birthday denying me of cupcakes in a classroom. These are important bullet points when you’re a kid.

Last year I turned 30. It was weird. I felt like it finally made me an official adult and that somehow I’d be found out to be an ill-prepared phony. But, my hubs threw me a fabulous surprise party that squelched any doubt and fear I had mustered about leaving my twenties behind.

So now here I am stuck with 31. I must say it is not very exciting. Especially since I can count all the ways in which I did not change and transform in the past year like I had hoped. But on the brighter side, I can see all the ways I HAVE.

This time last year I did not have a blog, nor was a blog even on my radar.

This time last year I had not begun writing poetry again. I had given it up when I was 18 and had thought that part of myself was tired and gone for good. It was in this last year that I began again…I am so grateful. It has become my prayer closet.

This time last year I was stuck in a job that left me feeling alienated and depressed. I had no idea it would be my last few months of it.

This time last year I was still trying to make myself fit into a mold I thought I was supposed to. Striving to meet others expectations as a wife, mom, and Christian.

I guess when I stop and think about it, my first year of my thirties has been a celebration of independence and new found freedom. The me I was last year on my birthday did not have the confidence I do now as I sit and write this. I am very thankful to acknowledge the ways in which I’ve grown, no matter how small. Here’s to another year of wall breaking, fear facing, badassery!!

I’ll drink to that!

Cheers!!

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. naturerestoresme
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 09:09:16

    I love it! You do have to be a badass to face fear! And it sounds like you are doing this. Lots of changes you went through in the last year. And you are making the most of it. Age is relative except for how it makes you feel. So if you feel young, you are. Sounds like are emerging as a new person, getting more in touch with what you like about yourself. That’s something to celebrate! Like a birthday.

    Reply

  2. Dean Ashley
    Jul 05, 2013 @ 20:42:27

    So does this make you a butterfly coming out of it’s cocoon, or a molting lobster?

    Reply

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