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If “you are what you think about all day long” it’s no wonder yesterday and the day before kinda sucked.

Last night during lots of reflection I realized I had been non-stop nay-saying myself for the past 48 hours. I’m calling myself out on it right here. You see, in my many, many, MANY, attempts at dieting and losing weight, I always lose and gain the same 20 pounds. And when I say gain, I mean the original 20 lost and probably 20 additional. Since my recent loss of about 20lbs, I have been telling myself that I won’t be happy until “I break past 20 and onto 30” out of fear of this dreaded cycle I’ve had. Well, when you tell yourself something over and over and over and over and over and over, it’s bound to become a truth. Shame on me. I should know better by now. But as a recovering pessimist, sometimes I slip back into my old thinking ways instead of keeping my eyes steadfast on the prize.

One of the things I now know to be true in this battle against addiction that is very a very real and very spiritual is, we have to TALK to ourselves instead of LISTEN to ourselves. There is a tape playing on repeat in my head that has been there since my childhood. The only way to overcome the lies is by telling myself the truth. For me, that is truths that I believe about God and who He made me to be, who I am as a woman, a wife, a mother. I am not what the liar in my head says I am.

So I spent some time last night taking my own advice. (?) I re-read some of my old blog posts and it helped me remember the “why’s ” of not throwing the towel in and not getting stuck on this 20 pound issue. I was reminded of my declarations of demolition and have found that I have a fresh burst of faith this morning.

I woke up to this picture and quote of C.S. Lewis from a dear friend on my fb wall. I’ve received emails and messages of encouragement on my WordPress. I got a text first thing this morning from one of my brothers that said,”today is a day that has never been…choose to make it like NO OTHER.” The love that I feel from all of you seems like a hammock of safety hanging beneath me, ready to catch me from a fall. Appreciate is not an adequate word.

It’s no secret that in this “meaningful makeover” process, my faith has been undergoing some changes as well. That being said, I hate to use a cliche bible verse to prop up my current state of mind…but I can’t help it if its true!

“Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” -Lamentations 3:23 NLT

If our eyes popped open this morning, we really DO get a new start, a fresh chance, a do-over. Maybe not technically, but spiritually. I’m grateful for Gods faithfulness and mercy and provision of amazing friends and family…left to myself I’d be miserable.


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