To be? Or not to be?


Well, today is day 30 of my in-home rehab. Can you believe it ? I can’t! It feels like 30 days has honestly flown by. Which is great news when your counting down the days to anything. The watched pot never boils, am I right? The “one day at a time” of it all can sometimes irritate my inner extremist who wants to fast forward through this process to get to the end result! But, in celebration of reaching my goal, I wanted to find an image of the famous 30 day chip. I was surprised to find many that had this quote upon them…

“To thine own self be true.”

This was interesting to me. I knew I had heard it before but I couldn’t place it. I decided to choose the one that reminded me that this journey is simply, one day at a time ( I need the constant reminder!) then launched a full investigation of this quote. Spent the morning reading Wikipedia and multiple blogs. Finding that it’s from a monologue delivered by the character Polonius in Hamlet, by William Shakespeare. ( Which now, I feel I have to properly read as a grown up, or at least watch the Mel Gibson movie.)

The essence being: Be yourself; be true to yourself; do not engage in self-deception.

Wow, yes.

Self deception is what gets me into almost every mess I find myself in. The ridiculousness of feeling like I am in control of anything!? The very crux of my disordered/binge eating being the false sense of control. The TRUTH really does set you free. Surrendering my “control” these last 30 days has enabled me to really look myself in the mirror and SEE myself as I really am…and it didn’t kill me. It didn’t END me. I am still here. Thanks be to God.
“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.” (James 1:22-24 ESV). Put simply, walk out your talk. It’s one thing to talk about what you need to do and quite another to actually put it into practice, day by day.

One blogger wrote in favor of there being no real meaning of “Hamlet”. Saying, “Humans are compelled to find the meaning and order in art.”
( )
This stood out to me because I found that to be really true. Isn’t that WHAT we do? Try to make sense of all the chaos? In art, or otherwise?

What I know for sure is, my life has never felt like it has made more sense than now, and just for today…I will rejoice and be glad in that!



4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Danielle
    May 07, 2013 @ 08:09:52

    First of all, congratulations. Secondly, this is brilliant. Everything- the quote, the writing, the Bible verse- needed this today! Xoxo


  2. MikesYf
    May 08, 2013 @ 12:47:36

    Congrats on 30 days! It’s a big deal! I remember when a Dr. told me to quit dairy for a week for some stomach issues I was having, I think I made it two days. So to subject yourself to a goal and accomplish it…kudos! Thanks again for sharing your experiences with me(and everyone else). Love ya sistah!


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